Luke
stu-kicks
Tash Jayasinghe
Cibbuanothe 10 WORST actors EVER
June 2nd 2008 11:23
yo listen up today i am gonna do somethig a little different to help mix it up for all you know nothings. this is what i call a TOP 10 only they aint gonna be TOP they are gonna be the absolute WORST actors EVER to be on a tv. some people will start there lists by saying that its there opinion but im gonna lay it down for you now and say that this isnt an opinion this is the GOSPEL according to ME: IE. the truth. so pay attention and you might lern somethin.
NUMBER 10. DAVID DUCHOVNEE
a lot of people would shy away from the tv stars because they would feel that they are a soft target. not me. tv is full of whack awesome actors like JOHN STAMOS and INSPECTOR GORIN FROM LAW AND ORDER. david duchovnee of THE X FILES FAME is NOT one of these awesome actors. remember hwo the x files started and everyone was like DAMN rangas CAN be hot hurry up and get dem big ol' titties out already gillian scully... then there was david cross eyed duchovnee and he wasnt even cracking a fat. i didn't get it. it was bad acting if the x files was in any way realistic he wouldve boned her in the first series and the klingons wouldve laid the smack down rather than lurking in the shadows and helping the government fight russia and stuff. an important piece of trivia regarding the x files: when the scully got preggers in real life her boobs got noticably bigger during the episodes where she was in it and pretending not to be preggars.
WORST MOVIE: THE XFILES MOVIES
NUMBER 9. CLINT EASTWOOD
Clint eastwood is such a bad actor that he now has to be a director and he is responsible for such badly directed films as MILLION DOLLAR BABY, OPEN RANGE and SAW IV. eastwood started his career by acting in non-english movies because no one in america would let him in their movies because he was so crap. this was back in the 30s when almost every actor was crap so that means eastwood must be extra EXTRA crap.
WORST MOVIE: WATERWORLD
NUMBER 8. BEN AFFLECK
Remember when everyone was like O Matt damon and ben affleck theys good cause they wrote some dumb movie about hunting and school? that movie was the DEER HUNTER and it started ben affleck on the road to WORLD WIDE ANNOYANCE and VIOLATION OF FAMOUS HISPANIC VAGINA. ben affleck is so annoying that he was recently gonna get kicked out of america by the AMERICAN PRESIDENT BARRY OBAMA but than he changed his mind and said affleck could stay because he didnt want to start a war with whatever country affleck went to next. affleck just wont stop making films and aside from the excellent movies reindeer games and wing commander, he has never made anything decent.
WORST MOVIE: The assassination of jesse james by the coward john t. ford
NUMBER 7. DENZEL WASHINGTON
Denzel washington may have been the first black actor to win an oscar but that same oscar should be taken back off him for his many crap movie choices since. deznel got his big break playing the character of cody on FAMILY MATTERS and used this as a foothold to get into movies. he won an oscar for training day (his best movie) but then promptly made barbershop 1 and 2 back to back as well as a guest star turn in FRIDAY AFTER THE LAST FRIDAY and he has made black people angry everywhere for wasting his talent. famous black man ERNIE DINGO recently said the following 'i am very embarressed to be a black man when i see denzel doing such bad work he brings shame on my people'.
WORST MOVIE: snakes on a plane
NUMBER 6. KEVIN SPACEY
Kevin spacey made oscar history by being the only person to win two oscars (for his work in american beauty and the usual suspects). but i think evryone has been living a lie in appreciatin him ever since as he has repeatedivly shown himself to be a terrible actor on almost EVERY OCCASION SINCE. spacey played a variety of retards and losers in such films as the shipping news, in and out and superman lives, and it got old very fast. it got so old that hollywood actually banned him from making movies for a few years which forced him to go into TV work and he can now be seen in the TV series LOST playing the show's hero BEN LOCKE. whilst its good to see big stars on TV i think there is sending out the wrong message because it says that people with googley eyes have a place in movies and tv and this just isnt true.
WORST MOVIE: superman lives
NUMBER 5. DANIEL DAY LEWIS
talking of overrated actors, heres the number 1 guy! daniel day lewis came to fame playing aragorn in the LORD OF THE RINGS movies and it doesnt get any blander. day lewis is famed for his use of method acting which is a special kind of acting where the actor gets really drunk before performing to get in touch with his 'method'. it has workd for such great actors as harvey keital adam sandler and johnny depp but it doesnt work for daniel day lewis who recently had a dispute with director PETER JACKSON over his payment for work in ads for peter jackson cigarete brand PETER JACKSON CIGAREETTES. Jackson maintains that he cannot pay day lewis because it is illegal to advertise cigarettes and that daylewises agreement to be in this ads was an elaborate case of OWNED. daylewis is taking the LORD OF THE RINGS director to court and claims he owes him a lifetimes worth of ciggie cartons, which daylewis needs so he can smoke in prepartion for his next role where he will play a smoking chimpanzee.
WORST MOVIE: gangs of new york where he has the worst american accent ever!
NUMBER 4. HEATH LEDGER
It is a tragic fact that heath ledger recently committed suicide over bad reviews he recieved for his work in A KNIGHTS TALE. Ledger made this movie several years ago but apparently he recieved bad reviews in the mail on an almost daily basis. i hate to make such judgement calls so close to the actors tragic death but this kind of repeated hounding through review can sometimes have a harsh but fair result. im not gonna commit and say whether this particular case was such a thing but i will end the heath ledger part of this blog here in honor of how i feel about his acting.
WORST MOVIE: a knights tale, for which he recieved many harsh but fair reviews which definitely caused his death which is also a harsh but fair result.
NUMBER 3. SARAH JESSICA PARKER
while women dont actually count as actors i think i will make an exception for sarah jessica parker, who is the worst of the female 'actors'. women actors have struggled to have their art recognised for many decades now and the oscars are considering having a 'womans academy awards' in the near future to accomdate this rising fad of female 'acting'. sarah jessica parker does this movement no service. parker got her start playing the lead role in the sitcom BLOSSOM and moved from here into the old hag opera SEX AND THE CITY. parker blackmailed her way onto this show but the producers were smart and they forced her to sign a NO NUDITY clause in order to save the eyes of viewers everywhere.
WORST MOVIE: Sex and the city movie.
NUMBER 2. DUSTIN HOFFMAN
Of all the old actors who came to fame in the 60s and 70s dustin hoffman would have to be the worst. whilst robert deniro and al pacino got oscars hoffman has never even been nominated and i think this is a fair sign that he just isnt up to standard. one of hoffmans most famous roles was when he played the lead woman in the stephen king movie MISERY. suffice to say he has rarely ever come close to recapturing that glory and his son PHILIP SEYMOUR HOFFMAN has eclipsed him in talent and film fame. adam sandler recently signed on to star in a dustin hoffman biopic titled 'YOU DONT MESS WITH THE ZOHAN'.
WORST MOVIE: Mrs doubtfire.
NUMBER 1. BRUCE LEE
And the number 1 slot goes to the most overated actor of all time - BRUCE LEE. Bruce lee has fans everywhere and i am yet to ever understand why when his fighting talent is inferior to the likes of fellow asians JET LI, JACKIE CHAN and STEVEN SEAGEL. what i say to bruce lee fans is the following: if bruce lee is so good then how come he hasnt made a movie since the 70s? the answer is because he is a bad actor and he is afraid to compete against a market that includes jet li. i saw bruce lee once in chinatown in sydney and i asked him why he didn't make any movies anymore and he actually said what i just said about competing against jet li, word for word. i then offered to fight him but he said he was just too damn afraid and so i let him get back to work in the chinese noodle hut and even though his name tag said 'andrew' i know it was really him.
WORST MOVIE: Dragon the bruce lee story.
and there you go the 10 worst actors ever. i understand there may be some disagreement out there but i think its important to remember that i know what im talking about and its highly likely that you dont so laters.
david duchovnee
a lot of people would shy away from the tv stars because they would feel that they are a soft target. not me. tv is full of whack awesome actors like JOHN STAMOS and INSPECTOR GORIN FROM LAW AND ORDER. david duchovnee of THE X FILES FAME is NOT one of these awesome actors. remember hwo the x files started and everyone was like DAMN rangas CAN be hot hurry up and get dem big ol' titties out already gillian scully... then there was david cross eyed duchovnee and he wasnt even cracking a fat. i didn't get it. it was bad acting if the x files was in any way realistic he wouldve boned her in the first series and the klingons wouldve laid the smack down rather than lurking in the shadows and helping the government fight russia and stuff. an important piece of trivia regarding the x files: when the scully got preggers in real life her boobs got noticably bigger during the episodes where she was in it and pretending not to be preggars.
clint eastwood
NUMBER 9. CLINT EASTWOOD
Clint eastwood is such a bad actor that he now has to be a director and he is responsible for such badly directed films as MILLION DOLLAR BABY, OPEN RANGE and SAW IV. eastwood started his career by acting in non-english movies because no one in america would let him in their movies because he was so crap. this was back in the 30s when almost every actor was crap so that means eastwood must be extra EXTRA crap.
WORST MOVIE: WATERWORLD
ben 'casey' affleck
NUMBER 8. BEN AFFLECK
Remember when everyone was like O Matt damon and ben affleck theys good cause they wrote some dumb movie about hunting and school? that movie was the DEER HUNTER and it started ben affleck on the road to WORLD WIDE ANNOYANCE and VIOLATION OF FAMOUS HISPANIC VAGINA. ben affleck is so annoying that he was recently gonna get kicked out of america by the AMERICAN PRESIDENT BARRY OBAMA but than he changed his mind and said affleck could stay because he didnt want to start a war with whatever country affleck went to next. affleck just wont stop making films and aside from the excellent movies reindeer games and wing commander, he has never made anything decent.
WORST MOVIE: The assassination of jesse james by the coward john t. ford
denzal washington
NUMBER 7. DENZEL WASHINGTON
Denzel washington may have been the first black actor to win an oscar but that same oscar should be taken back off him for his many crap movie choices since. deznel got his big break playing the character of cody on FAMILY MATTERS and used this as a foothold to get into movies. he won an oscar for training day (his best movie) but then promptly made barbershop 1 and 2 back to back as well as a guest star turn in FRIDAY AFTER THE LAST FRIDAY and he has made black people angry everywhere for wasting his talent. famous black man ERNIE DINGO recently said the following 'i am very embarressed to be a black man when i see denzel doing such bad work he brings shame on my people'.
WORST MOVIE: snakes on a plane
kevin spacey
NUMBER 6. KEVIN SPACEY
Kevin spacey made oscar history by being the only person to win two oscars (for his work in american beauty and the usual suspects). but i think evryone has been living a lie in appreciatin him ever since as he has repeatedivly shown himself to be a terrible actor on almost EVERY OCCASION SINCE. spacey played a variety of retards and losers in such films as the shipping news, in and out and superman lives, and it got old very fast. it got so old that hollywood actually banned him from making movies for a few years which forced him to go into TV work and he can now be seen in the TV series LOST playing the show's hero BEN LOCKE. whilst its good to see big stars on TV i think there is sending out the wrong message because it says that people with googley eyes have a place in movies and tv and this just isnt true.
WORST MOVIE: superman lives
daniel daylewis
NUMBER 5. DANIEL DAY LEWIS
talking of overrated actors, heres the number 1 guy! daniel day lewis came to fame playing aragorn in the LORD OF THE RINGS movies and it doesnt get any blander. day lewis is famed for his use of method acting which is a special kind of acting where the actor gets really drunk before performing to get in touch with his 'method'. it has workd for such great actors as harvey keital adam sandler and johnny depp but it doesnt work for daniel day lewis who recently had a dispute with director PETER JACKSON over his payment for work in ads for peter jackson cigarete brand PETER JACKSON CIGAREETTES. Jackson maintains that he cannot pay day lewis because it is illegal to advertise cigarettes and that daylewises agreement to be in this ads was an elaborate case of OWNED. daylewis is taking the LORD OF THE RINGS director to court and claims he owes him a lifetimes worth of ciggie cartons, which daylewis needs so he can smoke in prepartion for his next role where he will play a smoking chimpanzee.
WORST MOVIE: gangs of new york where he has the worst american accent ever!
heath ledger
NUMBER 4. HEATH LEDGER
It is a tragic fact that heath ledger recently committed suicide over bad reviews he recieved for his work in A KNIGHTS TALE. Ledger made this movie several years ago but apparently he recieved bad reviews in the mail on an almost daily basis. i hate to make such judgement calls so close to the actors tragic death but this kind of repeated hounding through review can sometimes have a harsh but fair result. im not gonna commit and say whether this particular case was such a thing but i will end the heath ledger part of this blog here in honor of how i feel about his acting.
WORST MOVIE: a knights tale, for which he recieved many harsh but fair reviews which definitely caused his death which is also a harsh but fair result.
sarah jessica parker
NUMBER 3. SARAH JESSICA PARKER
while women dont actually count as actors i think i will make an exception for sarah jessica parker, who is the worst of the female 'actors'. women actors have struggled to have their art recognised for many decades now and the oscars are considering having a 'womans academy awards' in the near future to accomdate this rising fad of female 'acting'. sarah jessica parker does this movement no service. parker got her start playing the lead role in the sitcom BLOSSOM and moved from here into the old hag opera SEX AND THE CITY. parker blackmailed her way onto this show but the producers were smart and they forced her to sign a NO NUDITY clause in order to save the eyes of viewers everywhere.
WORST MOVIE: Sex and the city movie.
dustin hofman
NUMBER 2. DUSTIN HOFFMAN
Of all the old actors who came to fame in the 60s and 70s dustin hoffman would have to be the worst. whilst robert deniro and al pacino got oscars hoffman has never even been nominated and i think this is a fair sign that he just isnt up to standard. one of hoffmans most famous roles was when he played the lead woman in the stephen king movie MISERY. suffice to say he has rarely ever come close to recapturing that glory and his son PHILIP SEYMOUR HOFFMAN has eclipsed him in talent and film fame. adam sandler recently signed on to star in a dustin hoffman biopic titled 'YOU DONT MESS WITH THE ZOHAN'.
WORST MOVIE: Mrs doubtfire.
BRUCE LEE
NUMBER 1. BRUCE LEE
And the number 1 slot goes to the most overated actor of all time - BRUCE LEE. Bruce lee has fans everywhere and i am yet to ever understand why when his fighting talent is inferior to the likes of fellow asians JET LI, JACKIE CHAN and STEVEN SEAGEL. what i say to bruce lee fans is the following: if bruce lee is so good then how come he hasnt made a movie since the 70s? the answer is because he is a bad actor and he is afraid to compete against a market that includes jet li. i saw bruce lee once in chinatown in sydney and i asked him why he didn't make any movies anymore and he actually said what i just said about competing against jet li, word for word. i then offered to fight him but he said he was just too damn afraid and so i let him get back to work in the chinese noodle hut and even though his name tag said 'andrew' i know it was really him.
WORST MOVIE: Dragon the bruce lee story.
and there you go the 10 worst actors ever. i understand there may be some disagreement out there but i think its important to remember that i know what im talking about and its highly likely that you dont so laters.
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Comment by Bryn
Horrorphile
So, half the pics match the names under them, and half don't ... but that's just the start. How you concoct your "joke" posts is beyond me. I should just give up trying to lecture you, cos it probably goes in one ear and out the other ... I'm only frustrating myself. Initially I thought you were just plain dumb. Now I realise you're not just ignorant and arrogant, you have no idea how to construct satire or deliver intelligent sarcasm. Which are the two basic elements you obviously are trying to tap. If anyone is stupid enough to think you're clever and finds your posts entertaining, well, they deserve your attention. Plough right ahead.
'Nuff said.
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-Kevin.
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Horrorphile
Comment by Anonymous
You need to learn what humour is before you attempt it. I suggest a dictionary might be a good place to start so that you can find the definition of humour, wit, sarcasm, satire and irony. This post has none of those. It reads like the ramblings of a tweaker. Mate, step away from the meth.
Bryn, the only explanation I can think of for this is ICE ICE baby.
Cheryl J
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