Luke
stu-kicks
Cibbuanothe woodsman A MOVIE YOU SHOULD SEE
September 22nd 2009 10:26
sup yall. i been away lately with my buddies in the gold coast just scopin out some locations and gettin ready for the end of school season. anyways i thought i would check in and help you all appreshiate a more obscure and older movie for a change. this movie is called THE WOODSMAN. i first came acorss this movie because it is from the producers of MONSTERS BALL. i havent seen monsters ball but if its mentioned on the front of another movie than it must be pretty good. turns out my hunch was rite.
my trademark summary: kevin 'bacon' rowlands plays the 'woodsman' of the title, he is actually a pedofile but he is a pedofile who uses his powers for good and this is what a 'woodsman' is. anyway there is a killer on the loose and he is killin innocent peeple by using the SEVEN DEADLY SINS. it is up to the woodsman to use his special powers to help locate this killer and STOP HIM.
this is a very underated movie. pedofiles arent very cool peeps i see one sumtimes on the bus he is very old and always talks about jesus. other times i see them ridin bikes and wearing backpacks and other OTHER times they even knock on my door and im all like DAMN CANT YOU PEDOFILES LEAVE A BRUTHA IN PEACE? they always have elder bro hum balls and stuff like that ritten on there name tags and its annoying. anyway kevin 'bacon' rowlands plays an unusual pedofile in that he is actually uses his pedofile powers for the purposes of good. he can turn invisible and do a faggy flashdance and he also wears a mean set of denim overalls without a shirt underneeth. its an interestin look its not a look i would wear but then again im no pedofile.
kevin 'bacon' rowlands is an underated actor who got his nickname 'bacon' from his college days. he would be sittin around with his actor student friends like seth green emilio estevaz and HENRY WINKLER and they would be havin fartin contests and HENRY WINKLER would always win because his farts were the BEST. and kevin would be there all cool and silent like a mad ninja master and seth and emilio would be sayin stuff like 'kevin you just got beat down by the STINKler' and kevin would just smile casually and say, 'NAH MAN IM BAKIN IT' AND THEN HE WOULD LET RIP AND IT WOULD BE WELL AND TRULY BAKED LIKE A LEG OF HAM ONLY THE HAM IS FULL OF MANLY BUM JUICE STENCH OF THE MOST FLAVURSOME KIND. and this is how he got the name kevin 'bacon' rowlands, because ham is like bacon.
that isnt actually in the movie. what is in the movie is a scene where four time oscar winner jackie chan is revealed to be the SEVEN DEADLY SINS killer and he serves up a box to the woodsman and in this box is the head of a gweneth paltrow. the twist here is that gweneth paltrow hasn't ACTUALLY BEEN IN THE MOVIE UNTIL THIS POINT. and the woodsman just shrugs and says 'Yo man who dat?' and the seven deadly sins killer does one of jackie chans signatur double takes and it is very funny in that way that only jackie chan can be funny. not as funny as two and a half man but PRETTY DAM FUNNY ALL THE SAME.
| 56 |
| Vote |
subscribe to this blog
