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January 8th 2010 11:26


For a film that James Cameron has been working on for pretty much over a decade, Avatar kind of snuck on the world before exploding like a bomb full of hype. In the wake of Lord of the Rings and other CGI-heavy films it's easy to stop feeling excited about special effects, it's like I got to a saturation point where I just didn't care about how realistic computer generated effects could look... it felt like there was nowhere else to go in science fiction and fantasy movies. As you might expect, I was wrong. Avatar exceeded the bounds of my imagination. The computer generated wizardry is more realistic than anything else we have ever seen, and you'll forget that it's not real. Anyway, here are some further thoughts on the movie...


First of all, it's quite long. I love the fact that this is a stand-alone movie (well, so far it is) and I understand the financial reasoning behind producing it as one movie rather than two or three, but I really think it would've benefitted from being a bit shorter and snappier. Also, I saw this film in 3D... it seems to be a kind of 3D that Cameron had a hand in developing and (judging from the trailers before the movie) there's a whole bunch of other films coming out at the moment that use the same gimmick. The 3D in Avatar was very impressive but maybe I'm too much of a wuss for it because I actually had trouble adjusting to the glasses... the vision hurt my eyes a bit and it wasn't until about an hour into the movie that I could watch it comfortably. To be honest, I wish I'd seen it in 'normal' vision instead of 3D, and I don't think I'll be watching any other 3D films in the near future.


There's a lot of debate amongst critics (professional and amateur) at the moment about the strength of Avatar's plot. I didn't feel like the plot sold anything short in the slightest. I've seen films before where it's far too obvious that the plot is just something to hang a few pretty conceits or special effects around (Pathfinder, Daredevil, too many others for me to even bother remembering) but Avatar - despite it's groundbreaking special effects and predilection for worldbuilding - still feels like a story first and a visual feast second. Sure, it feels derivative of Dances with Wolves and Fern Gully, but it's also a timely subject and I was actually impressed with the film's ending... it didn't feel like a deus ex machina or a cop out because it had been set up from the start and was actually the central theme behind the philosophy of the Na'vi. Also, anyone expecting a radical or unusual plot is probably ignorant of just how much this movie cost to make... Avatar was a ten year labour of love estimated to cost something close to $300 million. If you're going to pour that much money into a movie you better have a story that the majority of the audience is going to be able to identify with and understand! I'm the first person to complain when films deliberately pander to a mainstream audience, but I also understand that we would never have gotten the spectacle of Avatar if it wasn't financially viable, so I guess it's the lesser of two evils.

The design of the world of Pandora and it's wildlife is fantastic. I loved the hexapodal basis for all the animals and the level of thought behind the flora and fauna was evident throughout. The Na'vi themselves were a bit uninteresting but there's enough going in Avatar for the audience to never truly be bored. The history/concepts behind it all put me in mind of Robin Hobb's recent series of fantasy books, The Soldiers' Son trilogy, and the cat-design of the Na'vi felt a little remniscent of Isobelle Carmody's picture story Dreamwalker. James Cameron seems to have written Avatar from scratch by himself though, so I'm not sure if he deliberately or directly pulled influences from anywhere.

The cast was decent... Sam Worthington did a good job as the lead, and Sigourney Weaver brought to mind her Academy Award-nominated role from Gorillas in the Mist. Giovanni Ribisi plays a character not too far removed from Paul Reiser's company stooge in Aliens, and does a really entertaining job of it. My only real gripe is the villain character, Colonel Quadritch... he's played adequately enough by Stephen Lang, but all I could do was imagine how much cooler the movie would be if it had been someone a bit more distinguished, like Christopher Walken. It would've pushed it into truly memorable territory.

Avatar is definitely worth seeing, and you need to see it on the big screen. It's such a huge spectacle that I'm unsure if it would even be worth watching on the small screen when it eventually gets a DVD release. It's not just a whole bunch of pretty images, it's a grand adventure with something to say.

LOWLIGHTS: There's a point in the movie where one of the characters refers to the Na'vi as the "aboriginal inhabitants" of the planet Pandora. This isn't the fault of the movie, but as I live in the rather low-cultured Western Suburbs of Sydney in Australia (Penrith, to be exact), the mention of the word "aboriginal" inexplicably resulted in some snickering from the audience. I guess it's not really a lowpoint of the movie, more a lowpoint of the audience.
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sup blogtards ive been busy lately with poon so there wont be any apologies so dont be waitin (youd do the same. well maybe not. you ARE on the internet). today i am going to take a more artistic look at the world of film magic and i will talk about the grand man GEORGE LUCAS and 10 undisputible reasons why he is the greatest director alive today with the possible exceptions of michael bay and joone.

1. he has two first names. george. lucas. you know how madonna, sting and usher are so awesome they dont even need a last name? well george lucas has two first names and NO last names to go with either of them. this is a rare occurance and it is caused when a mad serbian dude lays down with a sneaky croatian whore and they have a baby and the serbian gives said baby to the GOLDEN GLOBES VOTING COMMITTEE. george lucas was raised by this committee and he never knew his real father until he went to war against the serbians in the 90s, he had to do battle with his father and he was told the truth shortly before getting his hand cut off by an intense laser sword and thats how he got the idea to write and direct THE HAND starring MICHAEL CAINE.

2. he has a awesome beard. theres a saying amongst awesome people and i am going to let you in on it: there are those who have beards and THERE ARE THOSE WHO CANT GROW THEM. suffice to say george lucas CAN grow a beard and he has been unwaverin in his devotion to the art of beard growing and it has been scientificaly proven that having no beard means you have no ambition regardin the ladies (IE. you are a homosexul). in related trivia, george lucas owns penthouse magazine.



3. JAR JAR BINKS. the greatest comedy character of all time. the combination of jar jars witty dialog and ben stillers awesome comedy acting skills combine to make the best combination ever. george lucas added an educational element by basing jar jar binks on black people and recieved a nobel prize for this because it helped show white people about black culture and the ways that black people can be useful to us.

4. No asians. in all of the star wars and ewoks movies there is never once a asian and hence george lucas spared the audience from many scenes involvin badly driven spacecraft and countless poor attempts at paralel parkin. to avoid acussations of racism george lucas wisely based the ewoks (the coolest of all the star wars aliens) on asians and even had them speak actual asian language. the asian world community were thankful to be included in some way and they liked the ewoks because they look like koala bears.

5. the guy from once were warriors is in star wars. when i watched attack of the clones i was almos jumpin out of my seat because of how awesome it was and then bubba fet turned up and he took off his helmet and it was JAKE THE MUSS! anyone who has seen once were warriors (the greatest aussie movie of all time) will smile when bubba fett turns to natalie portman in a key scene and says "cook the man some dam eggs", and then bubba fet looks at the camera and winks to all his brothers back in oz. it was a great moment and it confirmed that george lucas really new his stuff.

6. jabba the hutt. the guy is just so PHAT. its like george lucas made this movie and was like MAN its got fightin its got down syndromes aliens its got a chick in a golden bikini what else does it need? A BIG MASSIVE GANGSTA. BOYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEE! jabba is actually based on real life gangsta THE NOTORIOUS B.I.G.

7. george lucas admits his mistakes. unlike most directors who make movies and then show them to people and these people realise a certain bit sucks and the director is all like no way this is my art i aint changin it and then CONTACT stays in release for the next ten years and no matter how many times you watch it the alien at the end is still just that dumb fat head out of the green mile and he doesnt even look like an alien. george lucas is unafraid to go back and IMPROVE on his movies. the most recent and genius example being when he put hayden christianson into the end of return of the jedi. how does he even come up with this stuff?! its no wonder there are so many star wars fans in the world. everytime i watch a star wars movie i know that it might be different to the last time and this is why george lucas is the greatest non-pornographic director in the world.

8. he also never stops. just when you think star wars is over and there is no where else for the story to go - BAM. GEORGE LUCAS FINDS A WAY. the upcomin clone wars movie is perfect proof of this. i feel safe and secure in the Knoledge that there will be new star wars movies for my children and my childrens children. i wont be payin for any of these kids to go see these movies but the important thing is that these movies will be there for them to sneak into.

9. he invented ranch dressing. this stuff goes on chicken so good and i pray to my balls every day in thanks for george lucas and his endless talent. there is nothing that he cant do - whether it be making star wars movies or inventing ranch dressing.

downs syndromes alien


10. he based an alien on an actual DOWN SYNDROMES. see picture above. no one else has ever pushed the envelope like this and george lucas upholds his nobel prize by continuin to make room for the less abeled people of our society. when i was a kid i would watch john holmes and i could indentify with him because we were phyzically similar if you know what i mean and by this i mean i have very large genitals. anyway it gave me a role model and helped me become the better person i am today. george lucas understands this and has gone out of his way to put a downs syndrome alien into star wars and this helps downs syndromes aspire to better things too and maybe one day they to can jabber in their jabba-jabber talk and someone somewhere will actually understand what they are sayin. i'm not saying this will actually happen im just saying that anythings possible and we have george lucas to thank for it.

so there you hav it. 10 watertight reasons why george lucas owns you all. feel free to post comments about why you love george lucas. laters.

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sup suckahs. stu kicks here and i thought id bring all you chumps the gospel. so here it is.

ALIEN. VS. PREDATOR. IS. THE. BOMB.

that's my trademark one sentence summary for this killer franchise. somewere out there in movieland there are some legendry deadset geniuses who sat down at a hollywood table and said, yo this is whats what. we gotta get an alien and a predator and put them in a movie together and MAKE THEM FIGHT. if i was sitting in on this meeting and i first heard this idea at that moment i wouldve been like OH MY GOD YOU GUYS ARE INSANE! I wouldve flipped the table over and done some rad spinkicks and anyone who was dismissing would get a physical dissing you know what i mean?

some background... the aliens were first featured in star wars back in the 60s but their parts in the movie ended up on the cuttin room floor because they were too scary for the kids. george lucas realised that this was a hugely chumpish thing to do so he decided to make a movie just about the aliens. the aliens were designed by an ethnic artist named H.R. Giger who was renowned for his love of 'puffin stuff' (hence the nickname 'H. R. Puff n stuff')

H. R. Giger - the famous designer of the Alien.


meanwhile the predator was previously featured in the movie 'hellraiser' as a demon-type creature who used to be a sexual predator when he used to be a man (before he went to hell), and this is how he got the name 'predator'. for the segments in which he still looked human and was a sex predator he was played by rick moranis (in an early role). it is safe to say that rick moranis is no longer associated with the role as he is now busy making Honey I Blew Your Kids Volume 17.

rick moranis as the human version of the predator in HELLRAISER


Anyway this is all beside the point. ALIEN VS. PREDATOR IS THE GREATEST FILM SERIES OF ALL TIME. For the sequel THEY ACTUALLY COMBINED AN ALIEN AND A PREDATOR TO MAKE A PREDALIAN. THAT IS INSANE!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111 For the third film they are working on having this Predalian fight a TERMINATOR (to be played by the Rock) and in the fourth film (which they are still developing in its early stages) they are going to combine the predalian and the terminator to make a PREDALIANATOR and this will most likely be fighting ROCKY in the next movie (tentavily titled 'Rocky 7 vs. Predalianator'.

TRIVIA: Alien Vs. Predator: Requiem is the highest grossing film of all time.
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This Russian artist came up with a set of illustrations that depicts classic sci-fi movies as old Russian woodcut panels.

It's a fantastic idea, and if I could read Russian, I'm sure I'd have a lot of information for you


[ Click here to read more ]
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The Quiet Earth

March 13th 2007 00:11
The Quiet Earth
The Quiet Earth (1985)


Wow. I just want to say that a few more times... wow. Wow. Wow. It's movies like this that make you wonder, "How many more hidden gems are out there?" I read about this movie in a book called '1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die' and it sounded marginally interesting, and I finally got my hands on a copy just last week, and then I watched it and it was magnificent. What an amazing movie, where have you been all my life


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THX 1138

February 28th 2007 05:35
THX 1138
THX 1138 (1971)


For a long time while others wrote off George Lucas for his various abominations in the name of the ‘Star Wars’ franchise, I would defend him. I would say, ‘well, the first Star Wars films are great’… ahhh, but he only directed the first one, didn’t he? Someone else directed the grand masterpiece, ‘The Empire Strikes Back’. Well, I’d still defend him and I would say ‘but ‘American Graffiti’ is a great film, it’s fun and it’s entertaining, surely that’s worth something – and THX 1138 is meant to be awesome’. Mark those words, fellow film fans, ‘THX 1138 is meant to be awesome’. Where did I get this statement from? Various reviews, biographies of George Lucas, friends who had seen the film itself… and they were all WRONG


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Children of Men

February 21st 2007 11:24
Children of Men


'Children of Men' is one recent and decent film that didn't seem to really get any oscar nominations... it got a best adapted screenplay nomination but I think that was about it. Seems the Academy is still a bit snobbish when it comes to science-fiction films. If there's one thing that eternally shits me in this life of film-watching, it's people who are ready to write off perfectly good films just because they're science-fiction. As a result, there are probably stacks of people out there who will never watch this film... and that's a sad state of affairs as this is one of the best films of the last twelve months


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The Man Who Fell to Earth

January 26th 2007 04:52
The Man Who Fell to Earth (1976)


Who better to play an alien than everyone's favourite musical freak, David Bowie? It's one of those masterful strokes of casting genius that would make modern-day fanboys gush and slobber and cream their pants completely. Nicholas Roeg's cultish adaptation of Walter Trevis's progressive science-fiction novel has become a surrealist classic, memorable mostly for Bowie's presence. It was with some eagerness that I grabbed this film from the video rental store when I finally saw that it was available


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Enemy Mine

October 31st 2006 08:36
Enemy Mine (1985)


This is one of those films that I used to watch over and over when I was a kid. I'm always surprised to find that hardly anyone I talk to these days has even heard of it. It's a good film, dammit


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The Man in the White Suit

October 19th 2006 12:04
The Man in the White Suit (1952)


Waaaaaay back in the 50s, Alec Guinness made a bunch of films for the British studios known as Ealing. Ealing films have lived on beyond many of their similarly-budgeted British contemporaries thanks to their fine writing and performances... of the five or six well-remembered Ealing comedies, the four of these that featured Guinness are often grouped together as classics. 'The Man in the White Suit' is probably Guinness's least remembered of these four films (the others being 'The Ladykillers', 'Kind Hearts and Coronets' and 'The Lavender Hill Mob') and was Guinness's personal favourite


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Short Circuit

July 28th 2006 08:57
Short Circuit
Short Circuit (1986)


I used to love this movie when I was a kiddo. It's so 80s, so classic and corny and fun. It's always a laugh to go back and check out one of your childhood favourites, if only to see Steve Guttenberg, the man who opted to stay behind when the 90s arrived


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Planet of the Apes

June 20th 2006 12:04
Planet of the Apes
Planet of the Apes (1968)


The classic! I don't actually mind Tim Burton's [wank]"re-imaging", but there's no denying that the original is easily the best. That ending! C'mon


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