Comedy - Old Movies

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the woodsman A MOVIE YOU SHOULD SEE

September 22nd 2009 10:26

sup yall. i been away lately with my buddies in the gold coast just scopin out some locations and gettin ready for the end of school season. anyways i thought i would check in and help you all appreshiate a more obscure and older movie for a change. this movie is called THE WOODSMAN. i first came acorss this movie because it is from the producers of MONSTERS BALL. i havent seen monsters ball but if its mentioned on the front of another movie than it must be pretty good. turns out my hunch was rite.

my trademark summary: kevin 'bacon' rowlands plays the 'woodsman' of the title, he is actually a pedofile but he is a pedofile who uses his powers for good and this is what a 'woodsman' is. anyway there is a killer on the loose and he is killin innocent peeple by using the SEVEN DEADLY SINS. it is up to the woodsman to use his special powers to help locate this killer and STOP HIM.

this is a very underated movie. pedofiles arent very cool peeps i see one sumtimes on the bus he is very old and always talks about jesus. other times i see them ridin bikes and wearing backpacks and other OTHER times they even knock on my door and im all like DAMN CANT YOU PEDOFILES LEAVE A BRUTHA IN PEACE? they always have elder bro hum balls and stuff like that ritten on there name tags and its annoying. anyway kevin 'bacon' rowlands plays an unusual pedofile in that he is actually uses his pedofile powers for the purposes of good. he can turn invisible and do a faggy flashdance and he also wears a mean set of denim overalls without a shirt underneeth. its an interestin look its not a look i would wear but then again im no pedofile.

kevin 'bacon' rowlands is an underated actor who got his nickname 'bacon' from his college days. he would be sittin around with his actor student friends like seth green emilio estevaz and HENRY WINKLER and they would be havin fartin contests and HENRY WINKLER would always win because his farts were the BEST. and kevin would be there all cool and silent like a mad ninja master and seth and emilio would be sayin stuff like 'kevin you just got beat down by the STINKler' and kevin would just smile casually and say, 'NAH MAN IM BAKIN IT' AND THEN HE WOULD LET RIP AND IT WOULD BE WELL AND TRULY BAKED LIKE A LEG OF HAM ONLY THE HAM IS FULL OF MANLY BUM JUICE STENCH OF THE MOST FLAVURSOME KIND. and this is how he got the name kevin 'bacon' rowlands, because ham is like bacon.

that isnt actually in the movie. what is in the movie is a scene where four time oscar winner jackie chan is revealed to be the SEVEN DEADLY SINS killer and he serves up a box to the woodsman and in this box is the head of a gweneth paltrow. the twist here is that gweneth paltrow hasn't ACTUALLY BEEN IN THE MOVIE UNTIL THIS POINT. and the woodsman just shrugs and says 'Yo man who dat?' and the seven deadly sins killer does one of jackie chans signatur double takes and it is very funny in that way that only jackie chan can be funny. not as funny as two and a half man but PRETTY DAM FUNNY ALL THE SAME.

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Posted By: stu-kicks - Category: Comedy

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sistahood of the traveling pants 2

March 11th 2009 00:31

man i went to see this movie a while back and i cannot say that i was impressed. firstly when i hear the words sisterhood and traveling pants i imagine that it is about fine wimen whos pants travel from there bodies to the floor but no insted i got some movie about a bunch of girls who travel around the world and one of them thinks she is PREGNANT WHEN A CONDOM BREAKS but woah she isn't. the aforementioned pregnansy scare shows the possibilitie of this being a decent movie but we NEVER actually get to see the condom breakin or her getting pounded.

to be onest i couldnt really follow this movie because i havnt seen the first one. i was lost because i didnt know what had happened in the first sistahood of the traveling pants movie and so it was very confusing. there is the chick out of ugly betty in this one and she is still fair ugly her real name is AMERICA FERRARI. what a stupid name why would you name your kid america when she is not even american but is in fact a mexican? also how can all these girls be sisters when one of them is a mexican and how can they all be sisters WHEN THEY ARE ALL THE SAME AGE. ARE THEY ALL TWINS OF EACH OTHER? it didnt make sense but then again like i said i havnt seen the first one maybe it was a sientifc experiment gone wrong or somethin like that.

anyway because i couldnt follow the movie and because it was very boring i decided instead to review the man sittin next to me.

so here is my trademark summary: the man sittin next to me is very fat and he has quiet the B.O. problem and when he breaths it is very loud and annoyin. he is probly a virgin or a pedo or possibly a PEDO VIRGIN.

i tried to be polite about the mans B.O. problem by sprayin my awesum lynx deodrant all over him but he seemed to get a bit angry. so i said 'yo man chill you kinda smell like my dog'. he got all flustered and he told me off but i just sprayed more of my lynx rite in his face and eventully he moved away so i guess after all this story has a happy ending BECAUSE I DIDNT HAVE TO GET UP IN ORDER NOT TO SIT NEXT TO HIM ANYMORE.

i would not recomend this movie it was very poor.

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Posted By: stu-kicks - Category: Comedy

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Theres something about Mary

May 30th 2008 04:10

Adolf Hitler in his comedy film phase

i thought i would lighten things up and talk about a comedy today. comedies are movies that make us laugh and feel good they were invented by the americans because they have such a great sense of humour. the british have made a few comedies too but these generally aren't as good. to this date there has never been an asian or a european comedy as they have no sense of humour whatsoever. the french and germans in particular have never even considered making a comedy film for this exact reason. the one exception is adolf hitler who made many silent comedies in the early days of movie history. these comedies were not very well recieved and he eventually gave it up in favour of warfare and the mass extermination of jews and homos. just think, if more people dug these early german attempts at comedy we might not have had world war 2. im not pointing any fingers or anything its just a thought.

anyway, today i am talkin about one of the greatest comedies of all time - There is Something about Mary. Alongside the two Dumb and Dumber films and the Scary Movie franchise, this is possible the funniest thing ever put on film. it is the first movie to feature a joke that involved someone putting semen in their hair and is also the first film to co-star an actual honest2god retard (the charactar Warren, who holds his own against the other professional non-retarded actors). it is also BEN STILLERS first movie and it ranks alongside The Heartbreak Kid, Duplex and Envy as his best work.

here BEN STILLER plays a guy who loves a girl named mary (played by Candice Diaz). he tracks her down in tropical hawaii and he must fight many other men to get to her because there is SOMETHING about her that they all want. This 'something' is the blueprint to a special machine that will help America win the cold war against russia. BEN STILLER must use his comedy prowesss to beat russian double-agents and specially trained attack dogs.

the film also co-stars pauly shore as Jazzy Jacob - a small but pivotal role - this is important because before ben stiller PAULY SHORE was the biggest comedy superstar in movies and this meeting between them on the screen represents a passing of the torch. pauly shore was paid a whopping $4 million for his ten minute appearance and insisted on using a british accent.

There is Something About Mary is quite an old movie now, somewheree between 15 and 20 years old. there has been recent talk about remaking it as Something About Mary Returns. to generate excitement about this project the director (bryan singer) is using special computer technology to resurect pauly shore as Jazzy Jacob and you can here pauly shore's distinctive british accent over the recent trailers for this remake/sequel. it sounds pretty good but only time will tell if this movie will match the original. ben stiller is non commital about returning to his role and it is highly possible that his part will be played by TV SUPERSTAR DAVID SWCHWIMMER.

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Posted By: stu-kicks - Category: Comedy

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lars and the real disappointment

May 1st 2008 00:27

yo wassup. cause i'm so deadly and awesome i just keep on watching movies after movies after movies. yesterday i watched Lars and the Real Girl and here's my sum up

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Posted By: stu-kicks - Category: Comedy

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Irma La Douce

February 20th 2008 11:00

Billy Wilder movies are something else - full of snappy dialogue and great characters, his films have left an permanent etch along the plaque of American cinema.

His comedy, "Some Like It Hot", is consistently voted as the funniest American film of all time, and I think I'd have to agree... it's one of my favourites, and features a dazzling Marilyn Monroe as the female lead

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Posted By: Cibbuano - Category: Comedy

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Ghostbusters

January 1st 2008 09:15

It may not be that old (1984), but Ghostbusters is an eternal classic for me, a little boy that wanted to bust ghosts really, really bad.

The premise is brilliant - three dubious scientists get shucked from the world of academia and decide to take their research to the streets of Manhattan, making a buck off of paranormal activity

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Posted By: Cibbuano - Category: Comedy

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Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein

December 24th 2007 10:50

It's a comedy, but it scared the hell outta me when I saw it as a little kid. Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein teams up the classic comedy duo of Abbott and Costello with classic movie monsters.

They run into Frankenstein (actually, Frankenstein's monster), Dracula and the Wolfman. I wasn't scared of the Wolfman, as he was kind of an animal, and I partly wanted to be a wolf. Dracula never scared me either, as I was pretty sure my cross on a chain would protect me. Plus, they didn't like garlic, and my mom's cooking as pretty garlic-intensive

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Posted By: Cibbuano - Category: Comedy

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Roman Holiday

October 10th 2007 02:36

It's hard not to feel nostalgic for those long-gone days when all the women were princesses and all the men were honourable bastards. Roman Holiday introduced American audiences to Audrey Hepburn, who would go on and capture their imaginations for years to come. Pairing Hepburn with Gregory Peck, it's one of the most loved romantic comedies to come out of America.

Hepburn plays a princess from an unspecified country, who visits Rome on an official function. As part of her title, she has a responsibility to be seen in public gracefully, and answer questions from the media with tact

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Posted By: Cibbuano - Category: Comedy

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Wayne's World 2

January 5th 2007 08:07

The laughs continue in 'Wayne's World 2', as Wayne and Garth get their own place and decide to put on a rock festival. Oh, and this time round, Garth has pubes

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Posted By: Luke - Category: Comedy

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Repo Man

January 4th 2007 07:34

Repo Man (1984)

Repo Man is a crazy, culty kind of movie that tends to get people all excitable - if only because it's soundtrack is so punk-rocking. I bought this video, expecting something cool and highly rewatchable after reading various articles pumping it up and hearing dudes say it was rad. Let's just say I wasn't impressed

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104

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Posted By: Luke - Category: Comedy

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The Lavender Hill Mob

December 7th 2006 10:22

The Lavender Hill Mob (1951)

Another of the oft-celebrated Ealing comedies that starred Alec Guinness. This film, along with three others - 'The Man in the White Suit', 'The Ladykillers' and 'Kind Hearts and Coronets' - are often bunched together as the Ealing classics, and are all worthy entries in the Alec Guinness canon of classic peformances. 'The Lavender Hill Mob' is probably my favourite of these four films

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Posted By: Luke - Category: Comedy

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Anger Management

November 28th 2006 08:57

Adam Sandler has had his shares of hits and misses. After the badly-received 'Mr Deeds' and 'Little Nicky', he came right back around with some back-to-back eye-raisers such as 'Punch-Drunk Love' and this film, 'Anger Management

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Posted By: Luke - Category: Comedy

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The Cup

November 22nd 2006 02:03

Every now and then a foreign film comes along; a foreign film in a video case glossy enough for me to think 'this might not be so boring'. Sometimes I regret picking up some films, some times I don't. 'The Cup' is Tibetan film (filmed and set in Bhutan out of political necessity) about monks and soccer. Not your average Hollywood fare, I admit, but I guess that's what makes it all the more appealing

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Posted By: Luke - Category: Comedy

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Wayne's World

November 17th 2006 05:01

Another adolescent favourite of mine, and it still stands up to re-watching (so far). 'Wayne's World' launched the career of Mike Myers as an international movie-star and helped invent a whole new style of comedy, it's also very fast and funny

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Posted By: Luke - Category: Comedy

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