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Point Break 2: Surf's Up

June 22nd 2008 12:31
AN EARLY PROMOTIONAL MOCKUP FOR POINT BREAK 2!


wassup yall i have some important and exciting news. yes. POINT BREAK 2 IS FINALLY BEING MADE. after more than a decade of waiting and watching patrick swayzee slum it in crappy arthouse movies like donnie darko he is finally coming back to play the almighty bohdee in a sequel to the greatest film of all time. i have a source who works in the film industry and they managed to slip me this great early promotional poster and told me that the new film is to be titled 'POINT BREAK 2: SURF'S UP' which i think is a great title and really you can't beat that.


i also have some exciting news about the casting and it looks liek david hasselhoff is taking the place of keanu reeves and he will be playing the hero of the film, bohdee's brother CODY. i am unsure if they are meant to be twins but damn it will so POETIC if they are. this has golden globes written all over it. also in exciting news director extrordinair MICHAEL BAY is going to be co-directing the movie with MARTIN SCOSAYZE. scorsayze is going to be directing all the dialog sequences and he scored this brilliant job thnks to his recent oscar for the departed - a movie that proved he wasn't such a crappy director after having a steady run of commercial failures and generally bad movies. MICHAEL BAY is doing the action scenes and it was hes idea to bring scorsayze in because Bay is such a generous guy and he likes to share his talent around. QUENTIN TARANTINO is also being bought in to direct a special guest sequence where bohdee eats a banana sunday and is so disappointed in its quality that he goddamn SWEARS at the lady who serves it to him. here is a quote from tarantino about the sequence


TARANTINO: I am excited to be working on this movie.

thats an exclusive so all you other blogtards dont steal it ok?
i can just imagine how this movie was pitched to the man with the money it wouldve been like this. michael bay would walk into the room and hed go MAN why dont we make that point break sequel? and the man with the money would be all like im not feeling it. and bay wouldve said IM PUTTING DAVID HASSELHOFF IN IT AND HE WILL BE BOHDEES BROTHER. and the man with the money wouldve been a little more interested and hed undo his pants a bit and say KEEP TALKING. and bay would reach into his heart and pull out his masterstroke of genius and he said IT WILL BE CALLED POINT BREAK 2: SURF'S UP. and the man with the money would be all like goddamn thats the best freakin title for a movie ever. heres 100 million bucks make sure it has some sweet motorbikes in it. and titties.

man i am so excited for this movie. i remember when point break 1 came out and it just ended on that big cliffhanger - did bohdee die or not? it was obvious he didnt because he was a mad surfer and if you look closely at the big waves at the end you can fully see him hangtenning and waving to keanu reeves as the picture fades out. keanu was all sad because he realised he was a pussy and he shouldve been surfing more and rumour has it that reeves was so bummed out at having to play such a loser that he didnt do any more movies until deciding to star in teen comedy AMERICAN PIE. it was a bad decision because ten years later patrick swayzee got cancer and who knows maybe it wouldnt have gone down that way if reeves had been more proactive about making a point break sequel.

TRIVIA: patrick swayzees doctor actually recommended that he make point break 2 and told him that being in this movie will help him beat cancer. the american legal system is fighting to change the law so that anyone who doesnt go to see point break 2 will be held accountable for manslaughter if swayzee in fact dies from cancer. DONT SUPPORT CANCER.

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Street Kings may just be the top movie fo 2008. i'm laying that one down now so you should all mark my words and go check it out because it WILL be BEST FILM of 2008 when the oscars come round next year.

yo heres the sum up: keanu reeves is a good cop doin a bad job and the streets dont come no meaner. and his bost is idi amin hisself!!!!!!!1111

yes thats right - idi amin. forest whitaker reprises his role from 'the last king of scotland'. idi amin has escaped from africa and is now a bad cop in america and keanu has to struggle with this guy as his boss. its a great and subtle performance with african whitaker perfecting an american accent and it should at least get him another oscar nomination. keanu is good too and he should finally get his first nomination for this as it ranks alongside some of his best work as an actor (ie. constantine, the lake house).

street kings continues the fine tradition of american movies about police corruption. this tradition started in the 90s with the movie 'training day' which cause a lot of controversy at the time as no one had dared show police corruption so explicitly in movies. denzal washington got an oscar for this, making him the first black actor to get one. not many people realise it but ethan hawke even got a nomination too, making him the first openly gay actor to be nominated. hawke continues to fight oppression to this day and (sorry to be PC) even though he is a fag he still managed to be a good actor in 'training day' so props to him i say.

anyway back to street kings. this is the best movie i have seen in a long time. it has it all - action, drama, laughs, swearing, mad drugs. what more could you ask for? go see it.
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bloodsport

May 9th 2008 06:08


today i am writing about the gretaest film of all time - BLOODSPORT. if you havent seen this film then i challenge your status as a film 'fan' and i accuse you of being a film KNOW NOTHING.

here is the summary: VAN DAMME is a hockey player on the road to revenge. after seeing his hockey partner (his twin brother, also played by VAN DAMME) killed in the ring by rival hockey player BONG-HO he decides to fight bong-ho in a deathmatch to take place in vietnam.

this is an excellen film and it really does have it all. it has action in the form of the many fights van damme must win and it has drama in the moving opening scene where van damme (playing his own twin brother) dies from a lethal blow to the head via hockey stick. it also has comedy which comes via van damme's sidekick (played here by john candy, who grew a beard for the role - making this the only movie where he has a beard).

BONG-HO, who plays van damme's opponent, is probably best known for playing the Incredible Hulk in the 80s tv show of the same name. he didn't make many more films after bloodsport as it is rumoured that he was just too ASHAMED after being beaten so ferociously on screen by van damme. completely understanable.

van damme wasn't very famous until he made this movie. before bloodsport he was actually living on the streets and making a living via the magic of interpretive dance. he was oscar nominated for his work in bloodsport and went on to have a very good career. van dammes most famous movies since are 'street fighter', 'x-men 3: the last stand' (where he plays Gambit) and the straight to video classic 'the order'. it is rumoured on many in-the-know sources that his next film will see him team up with steven segal and the two will play twin brothers and that the movie will be called 'double under seige'. it will feature heath ledger (in his last filmed role) as the villain.

trivia: bloodsport was banned in vietnam for it's anti-war subtext as the vietnamese are renowned for their warlike ways.
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yesterday i saw IRON MAN. as you can tell from the above pic this is about a robot superhero who smashes bad guys and stuff. that's my summary of the movie by the way. i thought i would just start off with my trademark summary this time round to pull all yo readers right in. and it worked


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The Maltese Falcon

December 13th 2007 01:30
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Superman Returns

March 27th 2007 11:18
superman returns


It's been well over fifteen years since we last saw the world's most famous superhero on the screen. With the recent and successful revival of Batman, it was with eager eyes that DC fans gazed upon a Superman for the 21st century. Let's look at what this film had in it's favour to help feed the buzz that heralded it's arrival


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In The Line of Fire

March 22nd 2007 11:16
In The Line of Fire
In The Line of Fire (1994)


'In The Line of Fire' is a popular and criically-acclaimed action film starring Clint Eastwood, Rene Russo and John Malkovich. Directed by Wolfgang Petersen ('Das Boot', 'Neverending Story', 'Troy' and the recent 'Poseidon' remake), this 1994 film was the last film starring Clint Eastwood that Eastwood didn't direct himself. The film earned more than twice it's budget at the box office, and introduced character actor John Malkovich to mainstream audiences. It also earned Malkovich his second Oscar nomination


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The Good Shepherd

March 20th 2007 11:07
The Good Shepherd


Back in 1993 Robert De Niro decided to have a stab at direction... the result of this venture was 'A Bronx Tale', an underrated coming-of-age tale featuring sincere performances and a snappy storyline. Now, nearly 15 years on, De Niro has directed his second film - 'The Good Shepherd', an ambitious insiders-history of the CIA that assembles a massive cast of big names, including some six-Oscar winning actors


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The Da Vinci Code

March 5th 2007 11:26
The Da Vinci Code


Well, I finally got around to watching ‘The Da Vinci Code’. I’ve had a healthy curiosity in regards to how well a film adaptation would’ve been pulled off… I read the book way, way back when the publicity ball was just beginning to roll and even then it read like a film. It’s the sort of book that could be adapted into a big budget Hollywood film quite easily… colourful, European locations, an easy range of recognizable characters, fascinating back story, plenty of action and twists, and the perfect Hollywood ending. And yet… the film seems so average


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Blood Diamond

February 12th 2007 09:06


Continuing on from the last two weeks, I'm starting this week off with another review of an Oscar-related film, this time the politically-conscious thriller 'Blood Diamond'. The film is nominated for 5 awards, including Best Actor (Leonardo DiCaprio) and Best Supporting Actor (Djimon Hounsou), and it comes only 8 years after the tragic and disgraceful real life events that it is based on. Which not only makes it controversial, but also shows balls in it's willingness to tackle such subjects head on while these kinds of things are still going on


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Strangers on a Train

January 31st 2007 10:04
Strangers on a Train (1951)


One of Hitchcock's less star-studded films (but no less the work of art or cinematic classic), 'Strangers on a Train' is a tight film of obsession, murder and chance connections (or miss-connections). Made in 1951, this film comes straight from Hitchcock's golden age of filmmaking, when the master of suspense was at the top of his game


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The Score

January 16th 2007 12:32


'Pedestrian' isn't a word I tend to use all that much in everyday conversation. When I got around to watching 'The Score', a Canadian-set heist film with an impressive cast, I felt I had finally come to that point in my life where I can say "Yes. I can necessarily use the word 'pedestrian' in context". In case you haven't guessed by now, this film is pedestrian


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The Falcon and the Snowman

January 15th 2007 10:38
The Falcon and the Snowman (1985)


'The Falcon and the Snowman' is one of those films that sits calmly between all the other better known films in your local video story, biding it's time, serene in it's apparent mediocrity and lack of legacy... just waiting to be discovered. I'd never even heard of this film before, and I probably wouldn't have picked it up if I hadn't seen 'Ordinary People' just prior to it. I was so taken by Timothy Hutton's heartfelt and sincere performance in that film that I was amazed he wasn't better known now, and then I spotted 'The Falcon and the Snowman', a film that teamed him with Sean Penn, no less, and I knew it was time to follow up on what Hutton did next


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Murder!

December 29th 2006 05:06
Murder! (1930)


'Murder!' is an early Hitchcock film, only the third non-silent film he made, and can be often found these days on DVD for only a few dollars. I got my copy as part of a bargain 10-pack of Hitchcock's British films (films from between 1930 and 1939). A good score


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